From Andrew McAfee

Tim and I were graduate school roommates in Boston in 1990, when I was 22. Lori was in law school in Chicago then, so the two of them saw each other rarely. Before her first visit to our apartment, I watched Tim's mood improve steadily. But after she showed up I sensed that things were not going at all well.

There seemed to be a lot of debate, argument, and back-and-forthing about small things. I saw this as a symptom of deep strains in their relationship brought on by distance and school stress, and I did not find it fun to watch. I tried to ease the situation by saying very little and leaving the room as quickly as I could.

On about her second day in town Lori noticed me clamming up as she and her husband discussed who had picked the stupider pot to cook spaghetti in. She got a gleam in her eye and said "Tim, Andy thinks we're fighting." They looked at my worried face, then laughed like it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. When she finally calmed down Lori said "We're not fighting. We're married."

Lori and Tim gave me my first close-up view of a young married couple, and I've never seen a better example.

--Andrew McAfee
Boston, MA

You Are Loved...

My darling little sister…you have passed on from this world.
You are loved.
All of your triumphs and the light you brought into this world
will live on from those who knew you.
You are loved.
My heart broke when I heard the news of your passing.
You are my sister, and you are loved.
The tears and pain you felt are gone now,
you are God’s little child, and you are loved.
Lori you always helped me when I was in pain.
Thank you so much because you are loved.
God is love. You are loved so you will always have love.
I hope there aren’t too many more battles for you to fight.
But if so, know that…you are loved.
Goodbye Little Sister, I will always think of you because
you are loved.
Your brother, Bob

Lori Will Live On...

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According to my parents, Lori prayed every night for me. Truth be told, she prayed for a baby brother, but I don't think she was disappointed when she received me. My earliest memories are of my Nanny yelling for me to "get back in the house now, quickly" (in Spanish--we lived in Panama) because every time I heard Lori's school bus approach, I would dart outside to greet her. All my early memories are of Lori. How she taught me to read when I was only three; how she taught me to tie my shoes when I was only four; how she taught me to color better than anyone could color in my kindergarten class. She also gave me a love of books. She read to me every night before I went to bed and I'll always remember how funny she sounded reading "Donald Duck and the Witch Next Door" with a retainer in her mouth. Many years later, she taught me how to take proper notes in school and I must say that I owe a tremendous amount to her for the fact that I was in Honors English during my primary school years and eventually received a degree in English at a University. It was all because of her.

In my younger years, everything she did I would do also. I dressed exactly like her, I walked like her and I talked like her. When I was in 4th grade and she went away to West Point I had my dad set up an obstacle course in the backyard because I decided I was in training for West Point. I wanted to be a paratrooper (everyday I wore a t-shirt that said "My sister is a paratrooper"), I wanted to run marathons and march in parades. I gave in pretty quickly when I realized I could never do a pull up. But I must say I had a damn fine obstacle course set up in my backyard built by my dad, Lt. Col Good! Thanks for trying dad, but athletics just isn't my thing.

She taught me how to be strong in the face of adversity and she taught me how to find so much joy in little things. She was very much a mother to me and very much my support system. Without her example, I would never have known that you can aspire to be anyone you want to be. She showed me that nothing was impossible, and she is right. I owe all of my daring to her. Without her, I would never have had the strength to set off on my own adventures and pave my own path toward happiness. She wrote a poem entitled "If there's a will, there's a way" that hung on her bedroom wall when we were kids. That poem set the course of my life.

She planted me and I grew. She will live on in my spirit as much as she does in all the children she nurtured. Kathryn, Aaron, Elise, and Sebastian (pictured above) carry the essence of Lori and that is the greatest gift that could be bestowed on any child.

As she once wrote to me in a poem, I tell to her now. "I wish you peace, Lori. As you grieve, so do I. As you laugh, twice do I. Peace, love, happiness I wish you too"

I will forever hear her voice of happiness and I will forever hear her voice of pride when I accomplish all the things I set out to do. She was my support and she will continue to keep me strong.

-Lynora Good

A word from Terri Bortness

I hadn’t seen my cousin, Lori in many, many years, but kept up with her life through my parents via her parents (my Daddy and Aunt Ardis are siblings). I was always happy to know that Lori and Tim were doing well and was thrilled when I heard that they had two children who fulfilled their lives.

My love, thoughts and prayers go out to those who knew Lori and love her (now & always) so very much.

What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose.

- Henry Ward Beecher

Terri Bortness
Harlingen, TX

I spent a lot of summers with my aunt Lori, uncle Tim, and the kids.

Every time they moved, I would fly to a new place, experience new things, make new memories.

For my twelfth birthday, Lori thought a cake would be an understatement. Instead, she bought a pound of spinach dip, turned it upside down, dumped it in a large bowl, and lit a candle in the middle. Aaron, Kathryn (4 at the time), and their friends sang the normal Happy Birthday song, adding "cha-cha-cha!" in between verses. Even the kids loved the dip. And for a present, Lori would teach me how to horseback ride the correct English-style way.

She took me water-skiing, hiking, camping. All the things you do to get away from the world you're used to, and experience wilderness at it's greatest. She was angry when the only camp site we could find was surrounded by campers and wooden benches. She said, "This isn't the way you camp!". She always knew how to have fun. Always checked our heads for ticks, and wouldn't listen when I (being 17) could check my own head for bugs.

In Chicago, we walked for miles. Ended up at Navy Pier, where she took me mega- shopping. We made hand caskets where you hold your hand in a position (mine said "I love you" in sign language), stick your hand in a bucket of hot wax and presto! -- It's a lovely hand statue. We spent a day with my aunt Lynora, and Lori pressed her sister's friend to sing Opera in a tiny, cluttered apartment. She had this way of convincing you to do something that showed your strengths (something you wouldn't normally do for just anyone), and later you'd be proud of yourself. She'd say "I told you!"

My aunt Lori also had a way of making you forget to be embarrassed. If I fell down a small flight of stairs, she'd ask me if I was allright, say "of course you are" and then laugh. She'd remind me later that I was a clutz.

She used to meet me in the bathroom halfway between ready, and sit on the lidded toilet seat. Start conversations. And I wouldn't even realize that all she was wearing was a towel.

These memories are a lot. I have a lot more. But for now, the best feelings I have are reflections on all the little things Lori did. She was unlike anyone I've ever met. She was a great friend of mine.

My Mom
By Aaron Loucks
Mother’s Day, 2003

I love my Mom. She is understanding, funny and active.
In these few paragraphs, I hope you see how great she is.

My Mom is extremely understanding. If I get mad at her, like if I don’t want to go swimming, she will understand. Now that’s a good Mom! If I do something wrong, like break a lamp, she just says “that’s OK.” If I don’t do something like brush my teeth it’s OK with her. My Mom is awesome!

My Mom is funny. If I’m sad, she’ll make a funny comment to make me happy. If I’m mad she will sneeze really loud to cheer me up. Sometimes she will swerve the car just to make me laugh! My Mom is really funny.

My Mom is active. She will go camping in the woods. How many moms do you know who do that? Not many, I’ll tell you that much. She also likes to go boating. She even plays baseball with me! My Mom rules!

My Mom is unique. She is understanding, funny and active. I love my Mom!!!

A funny memory to share...when Lori was talking about the Renaissance School, the private school in Vermont where the children were enrolled, we laughed hysterically about the school's "peace circle" which happened (I think) almost every day. During this "peace time/circle" the children would talk about non-violence, the need to stop all wars, ban weapons, protect mother earth, etc. (There were a lot of pacifist/conscienttious objector type parents at that school.)

We howled at the mere thought of the head of school asking where Lori and tim went to college, and then she fantasized about getting a big humvee, getting all done up in her uniform with weapon, roaring up to the drop off spot to unload the kids. We were just hysterical over that, and whenever she would call to chat about the "peaceful, hippie" school, she swore she'd come in in her uniform one day and sit in that peace circle. She never did but it was so funny to think about. Tim, my husband Jim, Lori and I stood in thier kitchen yucking it up over that one!!

We had so much fun together. I just miss her so...

Jane Hulbert

Clarendon Hills, IL

On January 1, 2000, all members of the Pedersen extended family were invited to submit a paragraph describing themselves for the Pedersen Millennium Y2K Project. Lori submitted the following:


I am Lori Lynn Loucks, wife of Tim Loucks and daughter of LTC (ret) Lee and Ardis Good. I was a member of the fourth class of women to graduate from West Point. Following my career as an officer in the Military Police Corps, I attended law school at Northwestern University in Chicago and went on to practice family law before concentrating solely on the growth and development of Tim's career and our young family. My passion is my husband and my children and all my time is devoted to ensuring their many talents and passions are put to good use!


Yes, she ended the paragraph with an exclamation point.


Carl Pedersen
Williamsport MD

A Spider Story from Margaret

The picture of the creek reminds me of times that Lori and I spent hiking in the woods beyond our subdivision in Gainesville, Florida.

I first met Lori the summer when we were nine. We would pack a lunch and go walking on fire trails in pursuit of adventure. One day we discovered a winding creek (only 3 or 4 feet wide) and we followed it, stopping occasionally to look for minnows and frogs. Lori leaned her hand up against a tree to look down at the creek and I looked up to see a HUGE spider about a foot above Lori’s hand. I pointed and sputtered “L-l-look!” Lori looked and screamed. We both ran as fast as we could, until we couldn’t get our breath from laughing.

We would still laugh about that spider when we got together as adults. We laughed a lot together. Lori’s laughter and love of nature (and strong feelings about spiders) are what I will remember about her.

--Margaret Eves

Tomorrow...

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand.
And said my place was ready, in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you, and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, this could never be,
for emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home,
when God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you.
Today your life on earth is past, but here it starts anew."
"I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past."
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.
~ Author unknown ~

The Loucks Family

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Tim and Lori

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Lori and Dad

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I cherished the times I spent with Lori

love,
Dad

Lori, Aaron and Kathryn

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Lori's passion was her children

Tim and Lori Loucks

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Tim and Lori's Wedding.

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Tim and Lori were married at the "Old Cadet Chapel" at West Point.

Cadet Good

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Graduation

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Lori's graduation from West Point.
Class of 1983

Flowers

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Lori loved beautiful things.

Thinking...

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Lori and her mom

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Lori and I in Brookings South Dakota. We took this picture to send to her dad who was on a hardship tour in Korea. Isn't she precious? She was always so well behaved and sweet.

Love, Mom

Elementary School

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First grade

Baby Lori

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Where was she going all dressed up?